yahrzeit

one year since you left memories floating in the wind resting on the beaches of my mind one year everything has changed so swiftly – and so definitely within the blink of an eye you were gone one year of feelings that often come hand-in-hand love, anger, devotion, frustration, lust, despair, guilt, sadness, melancholy, loneliness, joy, surprise, shock, nausea, shame, vulnerability, thankfulness, awe, overwhelm, numbness, depression, embarrassment, hope, isolation, fear, peace, love … I have accepted this chaos, and I have walked with the grief I have lifted it up I have absorbed it, and I have walked through it I still am I let it throw me over the cliff, let it bow me down I let it dictate my days

I let it

not because I am weak, not because I don’t have a will

I let it because grief is the sibling of love

I let it because we were unique

I let it because we knew all along

you would go before me